My favorite poet -- an Irishman named William Butler Yeats -- once wrote:
.............Think where man’s glory most begins and ends,
............And say my glory was I had such friends.
It is with gratitude beyond words that I thank you for being my mother and my friend. Each of you at one time or another contributed your skills, your humor, your knowledge, and your caring to Mom and me, and that made hers, and makes mine, a very rich life. Many of you were right with me during that terribly difficult last month of her life, when I could barely function. I truly don’t know how I could have gotten through that without you.
I want to say a special “thank you” to Reverend Scott, who graciously opened the doors of her beautiful church to us for today’s service, who found Richard to play the organ for us today, and who guided me through the planning of today’s service. Her only contact with Mom was the day before Mom died, when she came to pray with us and to comfort me. She has been an angel in the storm of my grief, and I am very grateful.
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There is never a good time of the year for someone to die. But it is entirely fitting that Huretta would pass on at Christmastime, for the Christmas messages of hope, love, compassion, mercy, and peace on earth, good will to men and women formed the foundation for how she lived her life. She was a devoted daughter, sister, wife, aunt, teacher, mother, and friend, and we will miss her terribly.
People ask how I, an only child whose mother had become the center of her life, will manage to carry on. My response is twofold: First, I am Huretta’s daughter, and she would not let me NOT carry on. And second, in a very real sense, I am not an only child. I know that she “mothered” so many of you and others that I probably have more “brothers and sisters” than I can possibly imagine. And that indeed will help me carry on.
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The inscription I intend to put on my mother’s gravestone is from the book of Proverbs: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” Huretta was a spunky lady who was totally invested in life and who loved to laugh, and she would want us to do the same.
Last month, as Mother lay dying, a number of people who adore her came in and out, spent time holding her hand, smoothing her hair, and telling her how much she meant to them. Then, as we gathered in the living room and talked about her, we could not stay serious. We always returned to funny Huretta stories, and to her unending exhortations.
You see, a remarkable characteristic of my mother was that she never hesitated to tell us what she thought we ought to do, but somehow in so doing, she never alienated us. Her advice was legendary – “Lose weight. Gain weight. Stop smoking. Go to medical school. Don’t work such long hours. Eat slowly. Vote for the Democrat. Wear socks. Don’t talk on the phone while driving. Take smaller bites.” And the message that got emblazoned in my brain in childhood and that probably accounts for much of my success in life: “Get up, Girl. You’ll feel better when you get there.”
Mom got away with all this advice-giving because we all knew so very well that she adored each of us. And I truly believe her love was infinite. I never felt that her love for any of you or any of my friends or relatives in Tennessee or any of her kindergarten students diminished her love for me one bit. In fact, it seemed that the more she gave, the more she had to give. There’s no doubt a lesson in that.
My mother’s love of sports was also legendary, and I know of only one regret she had about her life – she never got to manage the Atlanta Braves, the University of Tennessee football team, and more recently, the Redskins. But she did get to have a grand time staying up well past midnight with 3 of her sisters to cheer on the Boston Red Sox as they won the World Series the week of her 91st birthday.
I, of course, learned many things from my mother. Her belief in the value of education and her determination that I would be an educated woman have enriched my life immeasurably. Her fundamental conviction that people and life are good granted me a basic trust in the benevolence of the world, whatever its tragedies and sorrows. Perhaps most of all, her and my father’s conviction that we are our brothers’ and our sisters’ keepers gave me a purpose in life that has guided me both personally and professionally. My fondest hope is that I may inherit her strong religious faith which sustained her through this past year of pain and illness.
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So I ask you to honor my mother today by emulating her life. I ask you to fight the good fight during times of trouble, to love your neighbor as yourself, and to believe with Mom that all people are our neighbors, whatever our apparent differences. I ask you to practice the Golden Rule in your daily life. I ask you to tell good stories and enjoy hearty laughter. I ask you to work for peace in this world, and I to pray that we all may join Huretta and Charlie someday in a better world to come.
Thank you for being here today to celebrate my mother’s life.
--Nancy Davis.........
