My first memory of Aunt Mildred was when I was four years old and my Daddy was lying in state in the front bedroom of Grandma and Papa's house.  I was in the dining room and Aunt Mimy suddenly appeared and she went into the living room and moved a chair away from the door.  I couldn't understand why a chair was blocking the bedroom door. She asked me if I wanted to see my Dad and I told her I did and she picked me up and carried me into the bedroom  She took me over to the casket and I saw my Dad.  Aunt Mildred asked me if I wanted to kiss his hand and I told her I did and so she held me and I kissed him and I still remember everything about it and I'm glad to have those memories.  I missed my Dad my entire life. Loretta once told me that I had been a Daddy's girl and I remember going with him to the Corner Grill when it was closed and he removed a big rat from a trap in the kitchen.  And I remember sitting in the car and waiting for him and I watched as he carried two little cedar chests that he had bought for Darrell and me to the car.  

It was Uncle J.D. that took care of us kids during Daddy's funeral.  He drove us around in order to entertain us and I remember going to his Grandma Martin's and them sitting by the fireplace talking.  His grandma Martin's grave was among those that had to be relocated when they built Tellico Dam and flooded the area where she was buried near Ballplay Road.  The family lived in that area and one Millsaps was pastor of a church there and there is a place called Millsaps Road near the Martin Cemetery.

Later that same day I remember going with Aunt Mildred to town and she drove Daddy's car before Mother sold it to Boyd Miller.   Aunt Mildred tried to teach Mother to drive but during that time Mother was just too over whelmed to drive the car and so she sold it and they always joked about Boyd never paying the final five dollars for it.  As Aunt Mildred drove down the steep front drive way she laughed her Aunt Mildred laugh as she attempted to use the brakes because she was not used to driving that car.

Later when I was a little bit older she sent me to the little neighborhood grocery store to get bananas for a pudding.  They didn't have bananas so I just got her some apples and when I got home she teased me and laughed but I never understood why I hadn't done a good thing by getting the apples so she would at least  have something to eat.

I remember one Christmas when she decorated the living room fireplace and mantle.  She put angle hair on the mantel and Santa Claus and his reindeer with little Christmas trees and angels.  It was so pretty.  She was always good at doing things like that.

One summer when there was a hurricane hitting the Florida coast Aunt Mildred and Uncle J.D. came home and she brought me a gift.  It was a red book, The Bobbsey Twins In The Country.  It was probably the first book I ever owned and I went immediately out onto the front porch and sat reading it.  I still have that book.   When I was in the second grade my teacher, Mrs Ghormley, once stood behind my chair in the lunch room and saw that I hadn't eaten my vegetables.  She told me I couldn't have any ice cream since I hadn't eaten my meal.  That night I told Mother what had happened and that I didn't get to have any ice cream with the other kids.  Mother was indifferent about it but Aunt Mildred got on the phone and called Mrs Ghormley and told her that it was okay for me to get ice cream because I ate my vegetables at home.

After Aunt Mildred was born Papa went to Ohio where some of his brothers lived and tried to find work.  He wrote letters to Aunt Huretta and she would write to him.  She kept his letters all her life and when she died Nancy Davis got them and when Nancy died I got them.  Papa asked Aunt Huretta to tell him about  how her little baby sister was doing and he asked if Aunt Mildred was still a fat little baby.  Aunt Mildred died at ninety seven years of age so the letters were written nearly a hundred years ago.  Soon there will be nobody left alive who will remember any of these people who are so dearly loved and missed by those of us who knew them.  It is a shock every time I think about Aunt Mildred being gone and it's hard to believe.

She used to use Grandma's Singer sewing machine and she was a great seamstress and could sew anything.  Grandma said that when she was born she put a thread and thimble in Aunt Mildred's hand and that's why she could sew so well.  After Aunt Mildred got married and moved away Uncle J.D.got her a new sewing machine.  I now have that machine and I have all the memories and I feel the pain of loss but I wonder what will become of the sewing machine when I am gone and there is nobody left who remembers these people. An old sewing machine will have no significance for anyone.  But I remember Uncle J.D. and when he got her the sewing machine and how Aunt Mildred made so many things and sewed so much on such a tiny sewing machine.

There was a little sibling rivalry among the sisters and Aunt Huretta always talked about how cute the twins were and how they got all the attention which before they were born was all hers.  I think that Aunt Huretta was Papa's favorite and that effected Mother and Aunt Harriette all their lives.  Papa would take Aunt Huretta places and leave Mother and Aunt Harriette at home.  Mother told of how Papa took Aunt Huretta to the fair and Mother and Aunt Harriette didn't get to go but when they came home they brought them ice cream.  When the sisters divided Grandma's things after she died Mother and Aunt Harriette were not told and they didn't get any of Grandma's things.  When I helped Aunt Mildred unpack her things after they moved to Tellico Plains from Red Bank, Aunt Mildred gave me a big round container that is full of knives and forks and spoons.  She gave me dishes and knickknacks and other stuff.  I looked at the silverware and realized it came from the house and had belonged to Grandma and was part of what Aunt Mildred got of Grandma's.

Aunt Mildred used to sew for us kids and the only Easter dresses I remember are the beautiful little dresses that Aunt Mildred made and sent to Peggy and me from South Carolina.  I remember when she was married and she and Uncle J.D. were leaving and she was so happy and I was standing under an apple tree watching them and she came over and kissed me after telling everyone else goodbye and then she got into the car and they left.

I remember buying a pattern and some material and trying to make a dress.  I cut the dress out from the pattern and then I went to Aunt Mildred and asked her what I should sew first.  She pinned together two pieces and I went to the machine and sewed them together then went back to Aunt Mildred and asked her what to do next and she showed me and I sewed that and kept going back to her until I had sewed the entire dress.  That's how I learned to sew although I never became good at it.

When we were little there was an evergreen tree by the front porch with limbs that were like a ladder and we kids used to climb upon the house.  We'd climb in and out of the dormer windows upstairs.  When Mother found out about it she told us not to do it any more.  But Aunt Mildred found a hand saw and I remember her huffing and puffing and talking to herself as she sawed away at the tree limbs, bound and determined that we would not do it again.

Sometimes Aunt Mildred would come home from work and be very excited because she had gotten us a puppy.  Inevitably they would name the dog Butch.  They mostly ended up dying of distemper but Aunt Mildred would always find us another one.  She worked at one time at City Hall and there was a policeman who had a Boxer named Chief and the dog must have been an unofficial scent dog or at least his owner fancied him as one.  I remember Aunt Mildred telling me to go hide somewhere in the office building and I would and the dog would come and always find me.  I was scared to death of it.  It was as tall as I was and I didn't know what it might do when it found me.  But it excited and pleased the adults and I didn't think I had any other choice but to go along with their game and so I did.  The dog never attempted to get too close to me in these encounters and probably didn't like this game any more than I did. 

My heart aches for Aunt Mildred and every time I think about her it is a shock and I can't believe she is gone.  I think she was special to me because she is someone whom I remember from my earliest memories.  The part of the brain that forms memories isn't developed in a child until about the age of four years old. It was that time when I was four that Daddy died and we moved into Grandma and Papa's house and Aunt Mildred was there and so was always a part of my earliest memory.  I lived with her in Pensacola and also for a while in Chattanooga and those are periods of my life that I have happy memories of.   I never feared that if I said or did the wrong thing that I would get the silent treatment or that invisible shield would fall and shut me out.  Aunt Mildred was a very tolerant, non-judgemental person.  That is a very difficult thing to be but she was always good to me.

No matter where I was or what was happening in my life and during times when I saw none of the other family, Aunt Mildred would always come and visit me and sometimes she would bring me things.  Charles Hodge once came to my apartment and gave me money because he would help anyone that he could but Aunt Mildred was always a constant and always kind and non-judgemental.

Aunt Mildred always had attributes of good breeding.  She had a nice voice and when she talked or laughed and joked she never sounded loud or vulgar or uncouth.  She never behaved in a bad manner and always accepted whatever came in life or whatever she found to do with a calm acceptance and I think she exhibited qualities of good breeding.  We never think about those things but it seems that they just came naturally to Aunt Mildred in her dress and taste and behavior.

She used to work at the Hollywood Theater in town in the box office and we kids would get into the movie for free but we had to pay for popcorn and cokes which cost a quarter.  We'd go to the movies at 12:00 noon on Saturday when the theater opened and stay until it closed at midnight.  We'd see a double feature, the main movie and then another movie called a B movie, previews of coming "attractions", a news reel, a cartoon, and a serial.   The Kathy Bates character in Misery said that the serials cheated.  When an episode ended there was always a cliffhanger and it looked like the end for the hero and there was no way for him to survive.  Then next week in the next episode they'd change the scenes so that he escaped for another adventure.  The theater would print a calendar so that we knew which movies would be playing every week for the entire month.  When there were movies with monsters like Frankenstein, werewolves, or vampires we were always scared walking home in the dark. Before Daddy died and we lived out on the highway Uncle J.D. would come and stay with Mother and us kids until the theater closed and Mildred got off work and the restaurant closed and Daddy came home.

One time when we were visiting Aunt Mildred and Uncle J.D. in Gulf Breeze, Florida where they managed a motel, I remember Grandma standing on Pensacola Beach with Uncle J.D. and she was looking at the ocean and studying it and she asked Uncle J. what was on the other side of the water.  He tried to explain to her and told her that if you sailed in that direction and if you just kept going that you'd eventually come right back to where you started.  I don't think she understood that concept or had ever seen a globe but it was touching to see her curiosity.  She never had the books or technology that we have today.  But Uncle J.D. was the smartest and best educated of any of the Uncles and his conversations were always about interesting things and knowledgeable.

Uncle J.D. died while he was helping the church members clear a lot and he was digging up a tree stump and had a heart attack.  We kids went to stay with Aunt Mildred after Uncle J died.  After his burial and we had gotten settled back in Gulf Breeze, Aunt Mildred went shopping. She bought a really nice dress and found matching heels and purse and also a wide brimmed hat that matched the outfit perfectly.  It was very elegant and really beautiful and she looked very pretty in it.  She had excellent taste and always looked nice and wore makeup and jewelry.  During this time Aunt Mildred never said anything.  But one Sunday morning we all got up and got dressed and attended the church where Uncle J had died.  Uncle J.D.'s family was Methodist and so he had taken Doug and attended a Methodist Church but I don't know if Aunt Mildred attended or not.

When we got to the church I found a seat a few rows back from Aunt Mildred but she sat on a mostly empty pew alone near the front.  She looked stunning in her gorgeous, elegant outfit and she was the only woman in the church wearing a hat and it seemed like she was a member of the royal court sitting among the commoners in their own church.  She was very calm and acted very regal.  After that we never went back to church again.

During our stay in Gulf Breeze, a lot of times when she would get off work she would come home and take us to MacDonalds.  It was different back then to what it is today and the little hamburgers were a real treat.  We'd try to eat our french fries really fast because Doug loved them and he would always ask everybody, "are you going to eat you fewnch fwies".  We'd always let him have them and he'd eat them with ketchup. 

Sometimes Aunt Mildred would take us to the pier and we'd wait for the shrimp boats to come in and she'd stand at the sink shelling the shrimp and cook them and make hushpuppies and I always wanted for her to once again cook shrimp and make hushpuppies but she never did.

I found in one of her sewing baskets a strand of yarn and a note from a woman that said if Mildred could find the color of yarn she wanted that the woman would be glad to make her a large afghan.  I used to make them but I never knew Aunt Mildred wanted one and if I had known I would have gladly made her one.  She never said anything to me about wanting one.  After I saw the note I bought yarn and made her an afghan but she died and never even got to see it.   Maybe one day I will give it to Jessica because I know that's what Aunt Mildred would want.  I don't know if Jessica would like it or not because she is not like Aunt Mildred in that way.  I hope Jessica knows how much Aunt Mildred loved her.  When she was in the nursing home and in her confused state she would call all the workers Jessica.  Everybody was Jessica.  Jessica was Aunt Mildred's world.

Aunt Mildred worked all her life.  She worked until she was around 82 years old.  The only reason she left her job was when Jessica was born she quit in order to take care of her.  She took care of Jessica more than her own Mother did.  She would send photos of Jessica and always brag to me about how well Jessica was doing in pre-school and how all the teachers loved her and how Jessica would even help the other kids because she was so smart.  Jessica is very extroverted and loves school to this day.

When they came home to bury Uncle J.D.,  we were sitting with Aunt Mildred in the dining room and Darrell had driven Uncle J.D.'s car to town for some reason and we watched as he came home and drove the car into the drive way.  For a moment Aunt Mildred's eyes lit up when she saw the car pull in because she thought that J.D. was coming and that everything was all right again.  Then when realization hit, she sank back in her chair.  I hope that Uncle J.D. and Aunt Mildred's sisters who have died and Papa and Grandma are there to welcome Aunt Mildred to Heaven and that for her everything is all right again.  I hope she knows how much we loved her and that she is still with us in our hearts and will always be until we can see her again.

Barbara Jean