ANNE
.....MATHEWS-YOUNES

ANNE MATHEWS-YOUNES

Anne paid this tribute to Nancy at the DC Memorial Celebration........

Thank you all for coming today to celebrate the life of Nancy Davis – I am particularly pleased that members of Nancy’s immediate family are here from Tennessee including her cousin Darrell who recently spent considerable time with Nancy while she was Johns Hopkins encouraging her and loving her….And then to all of Nancy’s friends and colleagues – thank you for the role that you have played in arranging for this service of remembrance and resilience.

I want to begin by reading a section from a poem by Emily Dickenson entitled,

The Last Night That She Lived…

........The last night that she lived,
........ It was a common night.
........ Except the dying; this to us
........ Made nature different.

....... We noticed after -- the smallest things
....... Things overlooked before
....... By this great light upon our minds
....... Italicized, as it were.

....... We waited while she passed;
....... It was a narrow time,
....... Too jostled were our souls to speak,
....... At length the notice came…

And we all learned that Nancy had died – oh so suddenly and to me unexpectedly near midnight on November 20.

She was a great friend to me for almost 40 years. She had an extraordinary capacity to develop and maintain friendships – over many, many years – I never saw anything like it and each of you present today is testimony to her gift of friendship.

Nancy at office party before her retirement.

We are born and we die – we can’t do a thing to change that reality. That is a given…what is not a given is what we do in the middle of those two brackets of our lives and how we do it. Nancy made a considerable contribution in that middle…--- And didn’t Nancy choose to live an amazing life? Nancy took life seriously, which does not mean that she was not funny…We have heard of her wit…. She was feisty, wise and loyal – the kind of person who would go to bat for you and who had your back ….and of course she wished for those same gentle protections for herself which we gladly provided.

Nancy also wished to make a difference in the lives of others and she always wanted to contribute and stay engaged– I came across a page among Nancy’s papers written just a few months ago – when she was quite sick -- which she had titled --- Things I Want To Do –

You see, life always stretched out in front of Nancy and she was in no hurry to greet death– I don’t believe that Nancy intended to die on November 20. – She really meant to do these things….

She wrote --- I want to:

• Visit friends and family
• Learn to cook again
• Take a course at Harvard Divinity School
• Work with Debbie Scott
• Take Adely to concerts
• Write about the “death of common sense in health care”
• Write an article about how to treat the working poor”_ Nancy was one who would willingly take on the sorrow, suffering and pain of others in her efforts to be of assistance --to help others find their resilience.
• She also wanted to write a story about my mother’s pet mongoose – she heard all about that mongoose during her trip to India in 2000.
......And like the rest of us….she wanted to
• Exercise 5 times a week

Nancy was not afraid to die – not eager of course….she told us that from her hospital bed at Johns Hopkins….she added though that she did not want any more pain or disability – those two unwanted companions that had been with her for some time. Who would not understand that wish?

Nancy at SAMHSA

I want to finish with a few words that were a part of my father’s memorial service a couple of months ago – and Nancy, while frail, made the trek from her Nursing Home to be there…

All of us, without any exception, must die. Death is therefore affirmed as good – as a gift from God. Though it involves grief and sorrow and experience of loss, from the Christian perspective, death is not seen as tragedy but as triumph; not as defeat but as victory.

Death intrudes into life and life intrudes into death. This insistence upon the linking of life and death bears in upon us throughout scripture with startling consistency. Whether the witness be psalmist or prophet or apostle or evangelist, all have testified to this truth.

Yet this truth is not operative in any automatic or autonomous sense.

As we do not live unto ourselves, so we do not die unto ourselves. We are not in isolation, but in relationship, not merely with one another but with the One who placed us here and before whom we are finally accountable. But we do not belong to one another; we belong to the Lord in life and death. The whole story of the people of God shouts this out to all who will hear it. This is the way things are. There is no other way to make sense of human experience. This is eternal life.

Please continue to keep Nancy and her family in your prayers – I believe that she would wish for them. Thank you.

Anne Mathews-Younes